Assassin's Creed: Assassinating Past Heroes
by shoamba1
Summary: Ezs and Connel fight HITLAR


Assassin's Creed: Assassinating Past Heroes

by the genius authors Goomba and Shadow

One day Ezs be on his women and Connel was like " Hitler is back from dead and killing all the babes" We must put on hoods and defeat hitler boss guy

Ezs be liek "We no let Hitler kill babe! We must stamp!" Than Ezs jumped on brawn horse and rode at peed of light. He go to Germland an face Hitlar..

He back to Italy cause he need wepon. Connel looes and Ezs belike " Its in Women" Ezs to his women and takes wepon. " My nife now I can boom boss villian man." Ezs say. Women bez "I will help kill baws manz" "Ni" Ezs says " This is my battle cuze hitler was past hero to me" "But I am HITLER's doter and he programed me to switch places with I" and she goes plom. Hitler flame up in big scary robes.

"The world shall be big scary!" stated the Hitler. Ezs said "Defend world I must!" Ezs jump on horse and did cartwalls off a cliff. Hitler said "The cliff is not enough, for thou is worth dirt!"Hitler raised his arm above head cause he handshake but short. Ezs cried and slapped Hitlar with wepon. Connel said "Victory is achivedin this place for we are victorious." Hitler be mad and bit Connel. Connel be dead on earth. EZS shout "Connel you dead! No victory for victorious!" Ezs got nife on hand and bully Hitler. Hitler be said and sad "I will back for the hells of earth!" and he lafed and poofed away.

Ezs be sad Connel ded. Ezs rides horse to Franz where he conflicts ruler. "I am Ezs. I am here in this place right now." said Ezs. Franz ruler said "My puppies are cuddly, would you like meal?" Ezs get mad. Ezs say" Puppy meal bad. I bully youu!" Ezs take out nife and smakc ruler times jump on building and say "You cannot reach me for I am on building. Buildng is unreachable. It's time for you to face salted slugs!" Slug came from door and slice Ezs. Ezs blaad all over the rug. Ezs get angry. Ezs say" I will make Connel happy. You'tre ded my lover but I will make sol happy. He then kicks buiding and Frnz leader go boom! Franz leader corps go "KABLOOMY"

"HITLAR YOU BE NEXT!" Ezs says suptly. "I be best help" Connel speaked.

**"UR FUCKING DED" Ezs said. "Test, it was"~Connel "Oh"~Ezs. Would I ded wen babes being dedified?"~ Connel " Point" Ezs.  
"OH NO HITLAR IS KILLING BABE!%# $#$#$# ^%^%^%^# $# $#%$^^*&!" Tits Mcguy says. "Oh noes not Tits Mcguy, she is tits person!" Connel say. "NO! YOU ART MY LOVER!" Ezs angried! He get Connel on his back and depart.  
Ezs vuolt on rode an ranz to Germland fast like thunger. Butt, he was no fast enough an HITLAR keil babes. Ezs women bleeded on floors. Ezs scream "HITLAR""You keil women" I sent hell back to yous." Connel gets wepon from locker and they ride fast as sound plain to Royal Nazi Fortress. Hitler stood with big grinand say... "Wassop Ezs. I be ded women and babes now your turn to be ded corps.  
Ezs angried and teleportaled to HITLAR. HITLAR be happy and smicked Ezs. Ezs lay on the floor and coofed blood. The blood was red like CollAid. Ezs called out to Connel, but Connel get sad. Connel say "I am not who think I am. I am VIllian Man! Go or I keil!"  
Ezs be betrayed and crys all tears," First HITLAR now Connel keil his babes and have turned into PAST HEROES!"  
To late for babe, now it Ezs time baby, I am vigilante! To Ezs HITLAR and Connel wer gobiesocidae swamming in the innocent sae. He put on biggar hoad and become supper Ezs. Music be shouting in backround all like "Dun dun duannaaaana nanananana duuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!" " Iams hereo know and i will SUPPER assassinate PAST HEROES!  
Ezs walks up through the sacred road that he had walked every day before, but today it felt longer. He knew he was entering a battle that was not a sure win. He all about Connel and HITLAR, because before they were both his best friends. He climbed up the church tower next to Royal Nazi Fortress.  
Ezs was perched onto the edge of the crumbled church tower. The sky was a menacing shade of onyx that slowly prowled towards him. He awaited the arrival of his past heroes, Hitler and Connel. The emotional pain that he felt was immense. He had once thought that Connel was more than his friend. He was his comrade. His undying lover. But Connel was one of them all of this time. Ezs had to do what was necessary to save the babes of Europe. He must assassinate his past heroes and vanquish the darkness that is consuming this world. He brooded and stood as a shadow of his former self, and waited for the bloodshed that shall ensue.  
Ezs saw two figures approach the church. He readied his razor sharp blade and eyed the intruders. He saw the small bushy mustache favored by Hitler and the beautiful dark skin of Connel. Translucent drops of rain began to fall and buffeted the church. He approached the end of the room and took a deep breath. His mind went blank and he focused on his targets. He planned to take out Hitler first and if need be, take out Connel. The drop was rather large and the rain made it hazardous but he decided that the task is utterly paramount, no matter the risk. He jumped off the tower like a majestic eagle swooping down to feast on a school of helpless fish in the depths below.  
"NOAWOWOWOWOWOWWOWOANAOAWOWOW OWOW! I'm... sowwy."~HITLAR. Nife went in HITLAR branes and he gone ded. " You be supper Ezs and you will met fate which be me!" Connel state with his saxxy lieps. "Boom da kaploomy" sys the wall as Ezs misses nifing. "Connel love is me to you! Don't be big scary! Stahp and we be lover forever!" Ezs cried out. "No." Connel said. "I kill babe and you do nothing! Our love is not truth!" Ezs heart was break. Ezs takes out his supper nife and puts gyant hoad on and truns into SUPPER DUPPER EZS.  
"OMG, You becom supper like me?" Connel be saying. "Si, Señor!" says Ezs. " Bad too for you" Ezs says. "NOW DIE LIKE THE VILLIAN YOU BES, IT IS TIME TO FIGHT MY PAST HERO!"  
Ezs through nife at face of the bro he bez calling Collen. "BOOM FROOM SPLAT WAT" Connel's head explodes and it ends up he is HITLAR. He turned to other HITLAR corpse and Connel unsips it and it is CONNEL!  
"It be another test you are know part of teh Assassinating Brotherhood Of Assassins That Are Like Brothers!" " I don't be trusting on no brother that be trick me!" Connel took his Crusty AK-47 and put lead in Connel's bueatiful head's crown. "Fa-Chang" Connel's head says as it implodes. Ezs says "I did what had been needed to have been done by yours truly, me, New T.A.B.O.A.T.A.L.B member, former Ezs, former friend of the one and only, HITLAR, the invader of Europe, a.k.a evilist man ever, and friends of Connel, the native american in 1500's Europe, I am now called SUPPER DUPPER Ezs, and savior of babes! He runes at speed of wepon's bulet away wile teh song "One Is The Lonlyist Numba" plays in the backround. Then he wanders if babes eill bees his comrado andn lover like connel, but be all afraid he will later be assassinating PAST HEROES once again.**

Fine.


End file.
